Xena: Warrior Princess Top Ten Subtext Moments


What the Non-Believers Think They Saw


10. Obvious Subtext Moment: Lao Ma’s sensual combing of xena’s hair. (Debt)
Non-Subtexters Version: After a mysterious premonition, Lao Ma was just checking for lice.

9. Obvious Subtext Moment: While sleeping, Xena (wanting to spoon) reaches her arm over to find her bedwarmer not in her bedroll. (Debt)
Non-Subtexters Version: While in the midst of a nightmare, Xena was checking to be sure Gabrielle wasn’t singing the Joxer song in her sleep again.

8. Obvious Subtext Moment: Gabrielle yelling "Can we cook with your juices?" (A Day In The Life)
Non-Subtexters Version: Gabrielle explaining that Xena’s favorite seven herb, rabbit a la conqueror won’t braise well in a soldier’s helmet.

7. Obvious Subtext Moment: Xena proclaiming to an expiring Gabrielle that she would be with her "even in death." (One Against An Army)
Non-Subtexters Version: That no matter how hard she might try, she’ll never be able to get Gabrielle’s irritating voice out of her head, and the dead CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!!!

6. The non believers really did see something here

5. Obvious Subtext Moment: Cleopatra’s coy invitation for Xena to visit Egypt where she’d be sure to show her a good time. (King of Assassins)
Non-Subtexters Version: Cleo really meant that they could dish the dirt on Caesar. (Author’s Note: Forget Continuity)

4. Obvious Subtext Moment: Xena’s dejection as Gabrielle declares her love for...herself. (Fins, Femmes & Gems)
Non-Subtexters Version: Xena was actually hoping Gabrielle would pick Iolaus so she could go back to playing warlord-and-slave with Hercules.

3. Obvious Subtext Moment: Gabrielle taking a bite out of Xena. (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun)
Non- Subtexters Version: Have you ever known a Texan who could pass up a longneck?

2. Obvious Subtext Moment: Xena and Gabrielle kissing while in suspended animation. (Quest)
Non-Subtexters Version: Xena whispering where her warlord loot is so Gabrielle could use it as her dowry.

And the #1 scene Non-subtexters think they saw:

1. That really was the soap Gabrielle was sitting on. (A Day In The Life)

Compiled by Patricia Shields

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