'Give yourself to me', she said,
A smile curled upon her lips
'Let me inside that stone heart
Of yours where I can do some good'
I smiled, all cocky and sure, 'this
Woman doesn't know what
The hell she's in for.' But I let her in..
She took apart each bit of me;
Kinda made me into something
different, leaving me
Feeling lonely inside. Foreign
Pieces roaming listlessly about in
The rather slanted universe I lived in.
None of em fit, these random fragments.
I tilt my head, looking into my reflection;
The images don't jive anymore.
And I'm lost, trying to find my way
In a reality I thought she
Wanted, I wanted, we wanted. But
Didn't get. Harnessing my soul to
Her version of what Fate held, leaving me to
Contemplate my own grand failures and wonder.
Certain one night I'd wake up, heart
All bent and bleeding, knowing she wouldn't
Be there. Leaving me unhappy with the life
I knew; my glorious past seen in a
Different light. Knowing it was the taming
that drew her; the unpredictability,
the whispering of an unfettered soul,
dancing just beyond the fringe.
She wanted, I gave; we lost.

January 20. 1999