There was a young woman, sublime
Who loved to partake in her wine
If she had much to drink
All the gals got a wink
And she hopped into bed all the time

There was a young poet and author
Who thought life with a man was a bother
She was a laureate and thespian
And a practicing lesbian
The only man she'd abide was her father.

There was a tall warrior from Greece
Who loved a woman who had golden fleece
Where ever they went
Xena's ire was never spent
The bard's oral skills kept her at ease

Here's the tale of Xe and Gabrielle
Who's proclivities tagged them for hell
They both started as friends
But found more in the end
Their true love was a story to tell

There was an ex warlord who had many skills
Her passions rose right after a kill
She'd visit her bard
Who'd try to get past her guard
Their love making was a battle of wills

There once was a warlord called Xe
Who used chakram and sword freely
She washed over the land
Taking the stand
That Lord Xena she'd forever be.

Conqueror Xena raged over all Greece
With velvet fist she enforced her peace
Crucifixion her fare
There was none could compare
And her bond with Ares never released.

Xena was an ex-warlord
Who traded peace in for a sword
She hooked up with a bard
Life was good but so hard
She atoned of her own accord.

Xe came from Amphipolis village
Forever changed by Cortese's pillage
Her heart was walled in
Gone was the woman she'd been
Now she immerses herself in death's carnage

Xena stood with her hands on her hips
And welcomed the oncoming ships
M'Lila said, 'NO!'
But destiny said, 'go'
'Break her legs', was spoken from Caesar's lips.

The bard and the warrior are together
They camp out under all sorts of weather
All they have is each other
As friend and as lover
They are bonded in every measure

There was a new bard on a list
He came on strong by doing some diss
He opened his mouth there
Was challenged to beware
But is laffing from the ass they have kissed

There was a young woman from the coast
Who thought XWP was the most
Though she liked Gab the bard
It was for Xe she got hard
One look at Maxim and she was toast

There was a young Xenite named Dutch
Who was fond of Gabrielle very much
But when she saw the Maxim pix
She was just in a fix
As her libido was stuck in a flux

I've seen some very nice pix of Lucy
A true Goddess if there's ever been
With legs up to her chest
There's no side that's the best
And it's all thanks to Mary D

There was a bard crazy 'bout Xe
She lusted after her happily
While she admired LL's work
Her libido was perked
When she saw Maxim pix of Lucy

When Maxim mag came out, Xenites were shovin
Cos risque shots of Lucy they were lovin
They couldn't get enough
Of her wonderful stuff
Numbers went up in the sale of toaster ovens