Can l hold you tightly against me
Imprinting my body upon yours
So deeply that we can convince
Each other that you are right...?
Can l cover your mouth so perfectly
That l can feel your breath in my lungs
Driving the doubt away
And trust that you know best?
Can we make love so deeply into the night
Non stop so that I can no longer hear the doubt
The pain salved by your cries of release at my hands
Blocking out the reality of what l know to be true?
Can l just hold you once more
And convince myself that what I'm not feeling
Could be felt, if l let it
And just be fucking happy for once?
As much as l want to, need to
I can't lie to either of us
But l'll give in to the fantasy you paint
And try to spit up my cold bitter heart
And tell myself that I can feel truelove
Experience it in this life time
And once more become what others
Wish of me...my quest forgotten
July 30, 1999